For all the awesome product the NBA has churned out over the past two years, one of the larger gripes has been the lack of blockbuster trades. Bill Simmons rewarded himself a cookie when he deemed the league the No Balls Association vis a vis these lack of trades. Also, because he was a bit [...]
Whatchu Starin’ At, Abyss?
Hey gang, it’s Friday of that week in between the football playoffs and the Super Bowl, and you know what that means: There’s very little in the sporting world to care about!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The NBA announced their All Star team reserves this week, which is really only significant because Josh Smith was snubbed and Gerald [...]
Weak Side Late Assignment: The South Done Rose
Mickey: If you look around the sports landscape these here days, you have no choice but to come to one conclusion: the South is much better at the sports that matter than any other region. Disclaimer: We are, of course, referring to the South in the most 21st Century War of Northern Aggression ways. Central [...]
Now I Know How Natalie Imbruglia Feels
For all my wacky antics, I’m a guy who generally likes routines. Compartment-alizing my life helps keep things nice and tidy and that makes it all much more manageable. Take the Carolina Panthers, for example. So far, there’s been three major chapters in my life vis a vis the Cats. The honeymoon period from the [...]
NFL Week 14 Status Update: Motivation
Smokey: Sensing my ennui setting in after reading last week’s column, Mickey knew drastic measures must be taken. It was clear I was spiraling into a pit of despair, despite the Panthers solid victory against the Bucs. In a move requiring both cunning and daring, he forwarded along some pithy, far-flung anti-Obama email he’d run [...]
NFL Week 13 Status Update: The Home Stretch
Mickey: Tis the season of giving, thanking, and remembering, and I found myself thinking about that sentiment quite a lot this past Sunday during the Week 13 slate. The Panthers were putting the finishing touches on an ugly, Silver Foxian 16-6 win against a 1-win team with a rookie quarterback who flinched every time he [...]
NFL Week 12 Status Update: The Fickle Broken Finger Of Fate
(Ed. note: Mickey is moving today, leaving the safe confines of The Rock–aka Roosevelt Island–for the far more dangerous environs of Tribeca. We will speak well of him at his funeral.) Smokey: For a moment, put yourself in the year 1919 or 1920. Imagine the situational gravity of living in the era directly following the [...]
Grizzly Friday Morning
So the Panthers laid an egg on “national” tv last night when they lost to the Miami Dolphins in Carolina. It was definitely a game we could have, and should have, won, but the chips fell differently. Our porous run defense has been exposed for, like, three straight games now. This team has lots of [...]
NFL Week 10 Status Meeting: Falcons Near & Far
Smokey: Mickey and I had wildly different experiences concerning Atlanta Falcons fans this weekend, but since mine is anticlimactic and boring, I’ll go first. The Panthers toppled the division rival Falcons with a solid ground game, and remembering that Steve Smith plays for them. It was all very thrilling. The biggest story of the day [...]
Captain Jax Will Get You High Tonight
Outstanding news from the warfront: Stephen Jackson is Charlotte-bound in a deal that ships Raja Bell and Vlad Rad to Oakland. Everyone’s gonna use words like “embattled” and “disgruntled” when they describe Jax because he’s been looking for a trade for a while. It was on my radar, but I didn’t pay it much mind [...]
