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Weak Side Late Assignment: The South Done Rose

you know it, boys

Mickey: If you look around the sports landscape these here days, you have no choice but to come to one conclusion: the South is much better at the sports that matter than any other region.

Disclaimer: We are, of course, referring to the South in the most 21st Century War of Northern Aggression ways. Central Virginia is at its highest point on the eastern seaboard, the Mississippi River is as far west as it goes; Northern Virginia/DC is not the South.

NFL: Since 2002 and the new divisional structure, the NFC South has put more teams in the NFC Championship game than any other division (6). The NFC East likes to talk a big game, but really, it’s just adorable they think they’re better.

College Football: The past four National Champions have come from the SEC. As Smokey likes to say, they’ve rendered the rest of college football pretty much useless, so much so that their December championship game is the de facto BCS Championship.

NBA: Look at today’s standings. The four teams from the true South in the Southeast division are over-.500. The Atlantic and Central divisions have just one above-.500 team. Also true: the Bobcats own the league’s longest active win streak.

College basketball: The reigning NCAA Champion is from the South, and since 2000, the ACC/SEC have combined to cut down the nets six of ten times.

Smokey: But those are just facts and results, so what do they know. In this new sports landscape, all that matters is how insufferable your fanbase is. The Yankess, Red Sox/Pats, and Lakers are some of the masters of this category, but their racism doesn’t have the charm and lack of self-awareness that, say, Michael Hudec.’s does. With C’lay Travis and Spencer Hall, the blogosphere’s represented admirably by the South.

In short, for all the hubbub about the success of the New England region over the past decade, the worst thing that the South did was give away Adam Morrison before he became a World Champion.

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6 Comments

  1. Mickey says:

    sarcasm, gid? sounds like a jealous new englander.

  2. Gideon says:

    Haha, its good to have you guys writing. Sarcasm may have been the wrong word. Cunning style may be more astute.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ’0 which is not a hashcash value.

  3. Capn Pappy says:

    As Kenny Powers would say to New Englanders: Maybe y’all just SUCK! Rol Tide and Go Gators (insufferable enough for you?)

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