NFL Oh-Nine Previews: AFC South

Back when Mickey and I were doing our own thang at the Sports Brethren, we would double-team a weekly post about every Carolina Panthers game. We might not see eye-to-eye on everything, but we always brung the heat and the passion in our weekly chronicles of the NFL’s greatest team. Here at the Cube, we’re hoping to bring that same noise and funk on the NFL as a whole, in our true double-team style.

With that in mind, holyfuckingshit football’s a’comin! We are but a scant 4ish days from the first NFL Sunday, which means it’s high time we stop prattling on about baseball and fanciful things and get down to business.

Thus we present the Cube’s NFL Oh-Nine Previews: AFC South

Smokey: The AFC South possessed the best record in the regular season last year with the Tennessee Titans, who rattled off ten straight wins to start the season under the calming command of Kerry Collins. Yes, the Kerry Collins. The reformed racist himself stepped in during week 1 when Vince Young lost his damn mind. It was touch and go there for a bit, with a sprinkling of solo road trips, just Vince and a gun. But that was then, and this is now.

Regardless of whose under center, the Titans’ main asset is their stalwart coach, Jeff Fisher. He’s been the head coach of the Oiler/Titans for fifteen years now, and that kind of stability can supersede any chaos the locker room can throw at them. LenDale White apparently dropped 30 pounds this off-season, simply by taking tequila out of his diet. That fact alone is worth at least 2 or 3 wins. They start their 2009 campaign against the defending champs in P’burgh, and it should be a hard-nosed, boring game. Expect the Titans to rebound and put together another solid season, and possibly another Division title however…

…If it ain’t the Titans, my money’s on the Indianapolis Colts. The Dungyless impact will be significant, but expect Peyton to rise about the questioners and doubters and have a great season. Where the Colts will suffer the most is on the defensive side; has anyone heard from Dwight Freeney in two years? They’ll drop a few games they should win and still put together double digits in the W column.

The rest of the South could go either way. I always expect the Texans to put it together and break out to become contenders, and I’ve admired their stockpiling of the pieces, but I don’t see it being this year. Word out of Houston is that Matty Shaub has improved exponentially in the off-season, and Andre Johnson catches anything thrown his way. Mario Williams should continue to be an understated badass but the Texans still have to play the Colts and the Titans twice.

Bottoming out this year, I see the Jacksonville Jaguars. Garrard can’t seem to get over the hump. Maurice Jones-Drew is fine, but would be better served if he had someone else to split the carries. About the only cool thing about the Jags is their color scheme, but they still don’t have a pirate ship.

Mickey: The AFC South certainly has a formidable line-up of teams, and I expect them to continue that tradition in the Oh-Nine season. For my money, I don’t like to bet against Pey-Pey and the Indianapolis Colts, but it will be interesting to see how much he can keep that team together with so many stalwarts of that team gone (Dungy, DC Ron Meeks, Starvin Marvin Harrison, etc).

If the Titans can keep up their “Smash N Dash” offense, I don’t see why they can’t go out and get 10 wins. Chris Johnson is a beast and I’m enough of a drinker to truly appreciate the tequila diet LenDale took on this off-season, and I’ve even ceded the nickname to them over DeAngelo/Stewie if only because they whined about it nonstop last year. The real question here will be on defense, and if the loss of Fat Albert will truly affect them.

There’s a lot of hype about the Texans this year, and while I admit I do like their pieces, I’m just not ready to see them in the playoffs. As a Virginia grad, I love my boy Schaub, but is this the year they pull it together? I’m not sure. Side story on Schaub: the weekend he came back to UVA and got arrested for a bar fight was my second year at UVA. Joey and I were in line to get into a bar on the Corner with his then-girlfriend/now-wife, minding our own business, just hoping to get in the bar with the fake IDs we had (thanks, Smokey!). Well, Schaub, being an NFL pro, had no need for lines, so he walked up to the front of the line and began chatting up Jackie (Joey’s then-girlfriend/now-wife) as he snipes past us. He convinces the bouncer to let Jackie and him and some buddies in ahead of us. Joey and I don’t really have the balls to speak up, but the last guy in the group is former receiver Ryan Sawyer, who tells us to find them in the bar and they’ll buy us shots. A few minutes later, we’re inside, and approach the group. We decide Jaegar bombs are in order, and we end up staying with Schaub and Co. for about 30 minutes, drinkin away. It was only later I came to find out later in the night, Schaub got in a fightin’ mode and took on a Charlottesville townie. When Mom and Dad called on Sunday to ask if I had heard about Schaub getting arrested late Friday night on the Corner, I proudly told the story, leading Pappy to tell Mammy, “well, that’s what happens when you go drankin with your son.” Yarrr.

And I agree with Smokey’s contention that if there’s a team to bring up the rear in this division, it’s the Jaguars. Head Coach Jack Del Rio is one crazy dude (and former Panther assistant!) and I appreciate MJD as much as the next guy, but I just don’t have much reason to be truly excited about this team.

Gratuitous Cap’n Pappy quote (Growing up, our pappy, “Cap’n Pappy,” had many a’sayings that we didn’t exactly reckon we knew what they meant, but had a vague idea. In his honor, we’ll assign a quote for how we think he’d describe each division): The AFC South gets a “that’s a good thing” — actually pretty self-explanatory, this is a favorite of Pappy’s to describe just about anything that seems right with the world. And the AFC South is as steady as they come: Colts and Titans at the top, Texans and Jaguars nipping at their heels.

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