One More Before I Slip Away

In two days I’ll be flying back east for a week of reading, eating and sleeping on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It’s my first real vacation in quite some time, as this time last year was spent flying to the OBX, buying Mickey’s Accord, and driving it back across the country. It was my 10th time making the trip and my first time completely solo. When you’re on the Outer Banks it’s exceptionally easy to lose all contact and interest in the outside world. It’s a majestic place where only a Mel Gibson drunken tirade can penetrate our serene family time.

Just because we aren’t paying much attention to the sports world doesn’t mean we don’t spend a sizable portion of our time engaged in mindless debates about them. It’s a fairly agreeable crowd of football and basketball fans, with lip service being paid to the national past time. The crowd’s about as unbiased a crowd as you’ll find this side of a Simmons column and the following will be the topics I’ll be bringing up after my eighth Corona:

Tyson Chandler The trade with the Hornets felt like a one night stand you regret a lil bit the next morning. Upon first glance, I was excited about the acquisition, remembering Chandler’s thunderous ability to slam home a gargantuan amount of Chris Paul lobs. Slowly, it began to dawn on me that neither DJ nor Felton was really able to create the voluminous amounts of opportunities that CP3 was for Tyson. Then came the remembering of the injuries and the trade that fell through due to a physical. Then there was the quiet consistency of Mek. If I’m being honest, I would’ve much rather parted ways with Vlad Rad, Raja or Boris before Mek, but the truth is the Bobcats need an emotional leader. Tyson brings fire and flare, but he’s coachable and could meld well within Larry Brown’s system. If last season taught me anything, it’s to respect Larry Brown’s decision-making skills, no matter how maddening they might appear to fans.

The Carolina Panthers A favorite subject for any occasion at the beach, this August should be interesting to see how the pack comes together. None of us in the family have really spoken about 1.10.09, only time will tell if our wounds have healed. I’m optimistic for the coming season, but the fruit that bears a loss to Kurt Warner at home has a bitter rind that sticks in one’s craw for quite some time. This whole situation with Peppers has put us fans in a sticky wicket. We’ve all essentially agreed the only reason he’s back with Carolina is because of the recession, and as such, it puts the fans in an Eleanor Rooseveltian position. We know this man will go on to do great things; all that’s asked of us is that we smile in the photos.

Michael Vick, soccer, baseball, and all the rest The rest of the sports landscape seems to get pretty fuzzy by this point in my libations. I’ll probably offer up some ridiculous scenarios involving Vick’s success with the Wildcat offense, or get lectured about the fact that baseball’s had a more diverse group of champions this decade than any other major sport.

The Aughts Regardless of any supposed discussion, the past nine years have been the Aughts. It’s always been the Aughts, it will always be the Aughts, even if we don’t actually say “Aught-nine”. There’s a particular kinship I feel with this decade, like it will be the one that imprints itself on my soul much in the same way the sixties did to oh-so many writers. We’ve seen the deepest nadir of our nation in a generation’s time on several fronts. We’ve reaped the consequences of the seeds we had sown in what now seems like a carefree time known as the 90s. This will be debated for some time to come, but the games all changed for sports, politics, and entertainment, perhaps irreversibly so. As the end of a decade approaches we cling to that which we know will still be here, despite all the changes. The Pittsburgh Pirates will remain the bastard child of a sports town full of winners. East coast football games starting at 10AM on the West Coast is one of life’s most sublime pleasures. And a certain mustachioed diabetic will go down in the annals of time, as being a world champ.

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