Ceeeeaaa-leeeaa-brate Good Times, Come On!

Breaking News, in typical ESPN fashion… “Report: Cuban called Martin a ‘thug’”, a headline that entirely misses the delicious centerpiece of the entire story, which is that Dallas Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban told Kenyon Martin’s mother, Lydia Moore, that her son was a “punk” and his teammates “thugs”.  Happy Mother’s Day!  I’ve been trolling the Internets desperately all morning trying to find a video of this incident, but all that seems to be out there is this clip:

Whereas Cuban is seen yelling obscenities at half court in perfect rhythm with ’70s disco immediately following the Mavericks lost 106-105 to the Nuggets on Saturday night.  That game, enshrouded in controversy with missed last minute intentional fouls and the eventual final second game-winner, a three-pointer from Carmelo Anthony, proving to actually be pretty entertaining during a widely overplayed NBA playoff system that has actually put a few good games out there that few people seem to even be aware of.

On paper, we also have Cuban’s non-apologetic admission to the Denver Post.

The Nuggets now sit with a comfortable 3-0 lead in one of many second round NBA playoff series(es) that unfortunately nobody outside of TNT and Reggie Miller is really paying attention to.  Unsurprisingly most people seem to be ready to get a few selfish 50-1-1 games out of Kobe and a few more ridiculous 45-12-8 games from Lebron and get to a Lakers-Cavs Finals already.

In the meantime, let us please schedule an ABC-sponsored dance-off/hatefest between Mark Cuban and everyone in the entire arena after the Nuggets sweep the Mavericks.  Center court, immediately following the post game interviews, Cuban picking unprovoked battles with innocent bystanders in the form of dancing and hatefulness generally proceeding like a combination of Dave Chapelle’s Player Haters Ball and the You Got Served battle on South Park.