The Favre Saga Continues! The Longest Streak of Consecutive “Sikes” In Sports (Human?) History

And you thought Jordan took a while to come, and go, and come, and go…  We loved it when he came back the first time. Watching that sleek, smooth basketball player swimming in his minor league White Sox uniform, wearing the double-ear flap helmet was a little sad.  Before we knew it he was back on the court, where he belonged.  Soon enough, he was putting up 50+ at Madison Square Garden, dropping championship game winners, and hoisting another O’Brien over his head.

Then he left again.  And came back.  And the second time it was a little more tiresome.  Sure, we missed him.  The game didn’t have a name, a face, a personality.  These were the Jordan-less years (which continued even after he came back), from which we only began to recover in the last two years.  While he was playing, battling injuries wearing #45 in a foreign jersey, we cheered for him to go above 30, a feat that during many years he accomplished just about every night he played.  “Did you see Jordan last night? 43 and 10 against the Nets.  He’s 40!”

I can remember that specific conversation in early 2003.  We were happy.  He performed that near-impossible act that only few athletes can accomplish by reminding us – live, years later – of just how good he really was.  But he was 40.  The ride was finally over.  Human beings just aren’t designed to withstand that kind of physical beating much beyond that age.  A different sport altogether, but we forget that Barry Sanders was just 31 when he stepped away from the week-on-week pounding suffered by NFL tailbacks, particularly smaller ones.  31.  What’s most amazing is that is old for a running back.  He called it quits, never looked back, and his lore only grows.

Today we hear rumors of Brett Favre’s potential return for the 2009 season to the Minnesota Vikings, bicep pending.

First we had this.  Then this, this, this, and this.  And endless speculation in between.  People are already lining up on either side of this argument; Sporting News even is reporting on a blog-driven Keep Brett Favre Retired petition (how awesome would it be if Favre said outright that if the petition reached 1 billion votes he promised, cross-his-heart-and-hope-to-die-stick-a-needle-in-his-eye that he wouldn’t play ever again).

I’ll plead relative lack of real opinion, here, but go ahead and guess that since the news is leaking as quickly and accurately as it is, that he’ll probably come back for 2009 (again, bicep pending, on which he did not have the recommended surgery over the offseason).  I’ll also go ahead and predict that no matter what ESPN’s John Clayton says, I refuse to believe that the Vikings suddently become a 12-win team.  I’ll give them 10.  But twelve?!  The odds of Favre actually starting 12 games is somewhere in the range of 20:1, leaving the ship in the shaky hands of Tavaris Jackson.

Instead, two tangential thoughts, A and B:

A) On Longest Streaks of Consecutive “Sikes” In Sports History

Brett Favre has now taken the title, with 7.  First, we thought he’d retire and give the reigns to Aaron Rodgers (sike!).  Then he stayed (sike!).  And then he retired (sike!).  And then he wanted to come back (sike!).  And then he got traded to the Jets (sike!).  Then he wanted to stay there another year (sike!).  Then he retired (sike!).  Then the Jets released him from their retired/injured list (sike!).  And now he might come back to the Vikings for 2009 (sike!).  Who knows how many more he has in him.

Close runners-up are Jordan, followed closely by a lineup of boxers named Foreman, Sugar Ray and potential Mayweather if he decides to fight in the coming months.  Then maybe Roger Clemens.  But boxers are typically the Kings of the “sike” – they love this stuff.

What about most consequential “sikes” in human history (for better or worse)?  Not to get religious, but depending on what you believe the title probably goes to Jesus, followed closely by the Spanish influenza of 1918 (light in the Spring, sike! killed millions that Fall), Henry VIII separating Great Britain from the Pope, Hitler into Poland, the end of the last Ice Age, Mao Zedong’s Great Leap Forward, Caesar crossing the Rubicon, and Grover Cleveland for the Presidency in 1892.

B) On Three Reasons Why Brett Favre Returns to the Vikings, Two Acceptable, One Not

1 – Vengeance. Which is a horrible reason to suit up.  Does he want to play for the Vikings, or against the Packers?

2 – Competitiveness. This one is understandable, if you realize what athletes are actually like.  Anybody who has spent any time with a professional athlete knows that these guys/gals are just absolutely, unbelievable competitive.  They will bet on who can make the McDonald’s order faster.  Who can do the longest keg stand.  You get the idea.  In the case of Brett Favre, he really can’t do much to help this.  He wants to be on the field.  Hell, Jordan said just recently that he’d love to still be playing, too.

3 – Boredom. Entirely understandable.  This is my life.  Of course, Brett’s now “average” day involves public appearances and Wrangler commercials.  But it’s different than playing football every week and being the center-of-attention, on par in decision making with the head coach and your OC.  Plus you’ve got the whole “home life” thing to get used to, with the “roll up the toothpaste from the bottom “and “what is all this hair in the sink” commentary.

That’s about it.  Happy to field any and all comments on the Favre re-un-retirement.

What should he do? What will he do?

CAPS LOCK CARL

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