There are two Jay Cutlers. One is the dainty little Commodore turned Bronco who puts a few good years under his belt and thinks he’s the sheriff of the wild AFC West.
The other is this man:
Jay Cutler the Football Player is a weiner. 6’5″, 225. Laughable. The Real Jay Cutler is 5’9″, 310 in the offseason, and a lean, mean 275 with a 55-inch chest when he competes. The Real Jay Cutler graduated from Quinsigamond Community College in 1993 with a degree in criminal justice. TRJC is a former two-time Mr. Olympia.
South Park had it right in Guitar Queer-o: “Nice to meet you (football player Jay). I mean, you kinda suck, but my dad says you might be good some day.”
Jay Cutler the Imposter needs to sack up before TRJC turns his head into a canoe (1,000 word guest post for whoever knows where that came from).
I’m sick of all the Stephon Marburys in professional sports. Tony Stewart, Moochie Norris, Donovan McNabb, anyone else who misses games with flu-like symptoms, Eric Davis, anyone who sits out training camp as the franchise player, Terrell Owens, Latrell Sprewell ($8 million? I’ve got kids to feed!), Alex Rodriguez, Tom Candiotti, Kellen Winslow (wow, this hate list is getting wider and wider), JJ Redick, Nomar Garciaparra, Chris Henry, Joe Theismann, Michael Irvin, Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, I-would-continue-but-I’m-slowly-getting-off-track; I’m in the process of contacting TRJC to manually reapply a tough skin (is that why he’s so tan?) on all these athletes who can’t hardly take a negative word about them.
Sure, you’ve thrown 50+ TDs since mid-2006, sixth in the NFL. That doesn’t make you Jesus. He probably would’ve led the league.
So your coach was shopping you behind the scenes. Poor baby. Other teams want your services. There was a changing-of-the-guard (which never should have happened, by the way, this is Lane Kiffin-Part II), and they reneged on a few promises they made. So what. You still have an up-and-coming offensive line and two very talented wide receivers.
An airhorn from my cubicle, for the love-of-all-things-good-and-pure, everybody listen to me: This is a business. It’s just like any other, except the salaries are a heck of a lot higher. If you’re not performing, they can let you go. If you don’t fit into their plans, they can let you go. If you look at them cross-eyed one day, they can let you go. Especially in the NFL when contracts are not guaranteed.
This issue for Jay Cutler the Imposter, now, is that he has the reputation in the league of being a self-centered pre-Madonna (yes, I know). The Broncos will probably end up getting close to nothing for him but demand two first-rounders, simply because they more or less have to get rid of him. He put his house in Colorado up for sale on March 15. There’s no way he shows for training camp. The Lions or somebody will trade their second round pick for him and end up with a top-five NFL quarterback. Unless the Redskins jump in and way overbid, offering two firsts, Jason Campbell, Carlos Rogers and a $100M contract (this appears likely by the way, and if it happens I might put a pencil in my eye).
Outside of that, what has JCTI revealed about himself these last few weeks? That on the first note of him not being the central focus, he’s out. Sure, he’ll send in his agent to remind them who the “star of the future” is. Without an apology like Stan’s dad gave Jesse Jackson, though, JCTI will walk, very publicly, and hardly look back.
What if every quarterback acted this way? Jason Campbell appears to be on the block. Do you think he’s now turning the tables and demanding a trade? Maybe he will. Maybe that’s the new way in the NFL. An NFL where free agents are treated like high school recruits, with coaches knocking our their doors at 12:01am the day free agency starts and begging them to come play with them. What about Kyle Orton? Brady Quinn? Matt Hasselbeck?
This is why the NFL will probably be without a bargaining agreement (and therefore, a salary cap) in 2010. The lack of guaranteed contracts really does add an element of instability to the game that increases volatility too much. Teams throw money wherever they feel like, knowing full well that the only number that matters is the cap number and the guaranteed number, but only the guaranteed number to the exact moment where penalties relax for cutting the guy. Players are then told they are God’s gift to the gridiron and the future of the team and are shocked when somebody decides that they aren’t.
But even though I think that’s the case, I also believe that this saga is beyond that, symptomatic of the egos we have to deal with who play these “games”. This is another example of a young, talented player with an ego the size of Mount Elbert heading down a heated road that he can’t (surprise!) seem to bring himself to turn around on.
Go ahead, Jay. Go to Detroit. See what it feels like there. And then when you get sick of that, maybe go to San Francisco. And Tampa. And then before you know it you’ll be crying “that’s be receiver out there” and signing one-year deals in Buffalo just to get a paycheck.
Of course, maybe I’m wrong. I mean, I guess Cutler has always seemed at least like a decent guy. But for me this whole saga puts him right there in the same crowd I mentioned earlier: just another gift from the heavens, on loan to us but for a brief moment at a sporting venue near you, who needs his manicures and handbags and “good job, kid!” and can’t take a little adversity.
I’m glad I got that off my far short of 55-inch chest.
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A quote from Jason Campbell today courtesy of ESPN, just to emphasize my point: “With all the stuff out there, you know crazy stuff happens in this league. You just have to be ready for anything. A bunch of trade talk is what got Cutler mad at Denver, that’s the reason all that stuff started with him, but I wouldn’t do all that. The thing you understand that there’s no loyalty in this game, so you just have to work hard. That’s all you can do.”