For the sake of full disclosure, I’ve literally been sitting in my cubicle for the last 1.5 work days staring at the NCAA Tournament bracket. I’m serious. For the most part, I haven’t even been filling in my picks; I have simply been staring at the PDF file.
You see, CAPS LOCK CARL’S preferred method of tournament prognostication (where even you, the 50-year-old, 9:15 into the office, how do you set up the printer, why does he keep asking these things, horseshoe head, twice-divorced mid-level manager can be a sports predictator!) is what is commonly known as the “Gut Instinct Method” of bracket selection, most famously adopted in standard practice by George W. Bush.
Other people may prefer the PF/PA, Strong Guards, Best Mascot, Hot/Cold, Most Appealing Colors, or Best Record approaches, made famous by Steven E. Calvary, Beefeater, Bill Geist, Katy Perry, Bob Ross and John Madden, respectively.
Basically, the Bush Method requires a background knowledge and/or preconceived perception of a number of colleges and universities, conferences, coaches, and athletic programs. I simply stare at a matchup, and convince myself that I have a premonition of who will win.
Examples include:
#8 LSU v. #9 Butler – College/University Bias. Butler, hands down. I have a strong aversion to LSU basketball. Football, I can put up with. I think the general negative attitude stems from a bad taste in my mouth from sweaty John Brady. To demonstrate, when Brady was fired I quickly grabbed my camera and filmed this video myself.
#1 Louisville v. #8 Ohio State (potential second round matchup) – Coach Bias. Louisville, with two factors at play, here. Frist, Brutus Buckeye scares the hell out of me. Honestly, he could keep me up at night. Second, despite the various, loud-voiced haters, I loved Rick Pitino’s white suit. Fantastic. Ballsy. Final Four worthy. I don’t care that he left Kentucky to go to Boston, got run out of there, and came back to the in-state rival. Give him credit for consistently being bold and apparently either unexpectedly hilarious, thinks it is 1947, or simply confused on the standard constraints of his demographics.
#4 Gonzaga v. #13 Akron/#5 Illinois/#12 Western Kentucky – Athletic Program Bias. Gonzaga, against any, or all at once. This is simply for a love of Gonzaga. Mark Few has been their coach for 10 years; 10 times the Bulldogs have made the NCAA Tournament. Simply impressive for a West Coast mid-major, though I guess I’d argue they are in reality a mid-major no more.
#5 Purdue v. #12 Northern Iowa – Conference Bias. Northern, Eastern, Southern, Western Iowa, or any other direction on the compass. I openly have a presumptive anti-Big 10 approach to the NCAA Tournament, aside from the fact that Purdue shouldn’t even have gotten in. I’m sorry. I just can’t separate Big 10 football from Big 10 basketball in my mind. I always picture a battle of lumbering teams that shoot 28% and beat each other narrowly, 38-33.
Slowly but surely I worked my way this morning to a Final Four of Kansas, Memphis, Pittsburgh, and North Carolina (Tarheels narrowly defeating Oklahoma and what may prove, if the Sooners can get beyond Clemson and Syracuse, one of the best frontcourt battles in the history of college basketball. It’s a shame they couldn’t have ended up on opposite sides of the bracket.
I should note that only once has this approach ended successfully for me, a seven-submission NCAA pool win of $140 at work in 2001 that I spent on a 13-inch TV/VCR for my kitchen. Feel free to let us know your prognosticatory approach and Final Four picks if you’ve decided yet at cubiclegm [@] cubiclegm dot com.
This was great! My final four, however, looks nothing like yours. I am not sure yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing.