Hello all and welcome to Cubicle GM, the place where sports, fantasies, pivot tables, and company time collide. Or something. We think it’s pretty swell you’ve found us hangin out here in our tiny corner of the World Wide Internet. If you’ve made it past the first 9 seconds of reading, we hope this means we’ve already made a life-long customer. If it took you longer than that to read, either you lack the intellect to handle our supremely big-brained site, or you have a touch of the Attention Deficits and set your fantasy squad between sentences. If it’s B, welcome, you’ll fit right in. So allow me to drop a mission statement of sorts; or at least a stream of consciousness ramble of a few ideas, goals, expectations and fears that resemble one.
The spawn of the site was simple: We are three friends who enjoy a solid sports discussion, like to write, and think we can do for the sport blogosphere what Melinda Gates does for Africa (you know, uh, make it better). We are of the belief that our discussions differ from those at the “19th Hole Sports Bar” or on 880 WEEI. We find it more interesting asking questions than making points. It’s simple predicate placement, really (4th-grade English, I holla at ya Ms. Lonergan). It was never “Bonds IS a cheater”, it was “IS Bonds a cheater?” No big-mouthed proclamations, just open-minded queries. And digressions always led us down more inquisitive roads. “What would John Elway’s career have been as a 3rd baseman,” “How the hell do you quantify the value of a defensive coordinator” or “How can Vlad Guerrero still not know a word of English?” Eventually, we wanted a place to share, explore, and if nothing else, remember these musings. Cubicle GM, may you be that place.
With that said, we wear grown-up pants now and would feel sheepish simply using the site as a joint diary. We want to provide content that’s piquing, entertaining, and even beneficial to a fantasy team or two. We find it appalling how simple-minded and lazy 95% of fantasy baseball previews have become. A simple regurgitation of 2008′s end-year totals can not, should not, and our site, WILL not be hosed down, wiped off with a towel, and presented as a 2009 preview. We plan to present wee exercises along the way, as well. If a conversation arises on what the Mets’ roster would look like if there were 20 teams, you better damn well expect there to be an ensuing post, fleshed out with a lineup and Excel sheet showing projected win totals.
As mentioned, our goal is not only to entertain each other, but to provoke the reader. Our discussions can only benefit from more ruminations so we strongly encourage reader feedback. We only ask that you adhere to the newly minted Barry Bonds Predicate Placement rule presented in paragraph 2 and spare us from the “Kobe sucks, Bron is KING!!! GO BROWNS” posts.
So, lets let the journey begin. We’d like to make the analogy that we’re starting off in High-A Kane County, but I fear we’re closer to JV Spring tryouts at this point. O, and please dont tell our bosses what we’re really working on.
This is exciting, I have no sport fan friends out here to break shtuff down with. What’s the first discussion topic?
Welcome Matt. Starting off with a look back at the best baseball seasons ever, hitting and pitching through by applying fantasy points league scoring to them. More using a new perspective on a thoroughly debated topic, but it interests me, and thats half of what matters. Keep an eye out for that tomorrow.
When do we start drinking and playing the “name the starting 9 of the 1996 Seattle Mariners” game?
Hiiiiiii everybaaady!
The addition of this site just decreased my work productivity to an all time low. It was never very high at a 9 and nowwwwwwww 2. I’m chaffing. Gid I have my gmail account linked to this right now….would it be safe to add my work address? Naughty language gets me in trouble. KObe!
At third base for Seattle in 1996 was Russ Davis?